How could I bear your loss?
Not to hear your voice
as you talked to yourself,
imagining some new twist in our already haphazard path--
refining some moment, some deed,
in your shining words.
Yet, if I love you,
how can I allow you to linger on this journey of mine
which is no longer yours?
My love, you have lost your voice. It has fallen into dusty silence,
as you listen to your own inner accusations,
no longer sure even of your own feet,
as they count the miles with mine.
You are seeking a place within,
somewhere the whispering water's edge
is a solace, not a storm
of conflicting concepts
battering the sands of your sensibilities.
I see, now....
Once, being by my side was enough. But your needs
have eclipsed my own. I should free
you from my dark visions, allow you to grow
without my needs, my shadows...
my wishes. I don't know if I can
guide you gently, with conviction
as you did me. My heart breaks, knowing
I have disappointed you.
In a moment of wild despair and suffering,
I realize... though I have many
skills, I lack one:
to give you back the beauty of your soul,
that perfect reflection of yourself.
You have nothing to look upon but the cracked mirror of me.
©LJ Grandstaff 11/98
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