I have moments in my day when I cannot shake you loose from my thoughts. You well up inside me and blot out what is already ensconced there. It is useless... I cannot proceed until I reconcile my troubled heart with an image of your face. I picture your eyes... they flatter me with soft looks beneath lustrous eyelashes. They say “Come here... I understand. Let me hold you.” And I melt....
I melt into reality, where a busy life sometimes lingers just long enough to hold my hand and urge me forward another step. Most times, it doesn’t. So, I plunge myself headlong into another day-long routine of work and play-- hoping that place inside doesn’t start calling my name. Or that maybe, just once, it will be YOU who calls out to me, whispering in my ear as though it were the breeze stirring the magnolia petals loose from their branches out in the yard.
Gently, gently, they flutter to the ground, pale purple pink petals, swirling in tones of sweet sentiment. And I melt....
I segue into hard walls and cold floors, all comforting in their own ways. They are my walls, after all, and my good, solid floors, and so I am sheltered. But I think... oh yes, I think... that if just once, I was sheltered in your arms, the scent of your skin would fill my imagination until it could hold no more, and I would be replete in your unbroken myth. And I would melt.
Into the cool night air, my thoughts flow... mixing and sifting through the day’s ephemeral beauty; what has passed is no more than a dream, anymore. A year’s time thunders down my neck, raising tiny hairs in the memory of an existence where a soft peace surrounded me; when life was the furry touch of a puppy and the delight of a white butterfly floating to the grass.
Then a warmth tickles the curve of my jawline, and I close my eyes to the world. I feel your breath on my neck, and I say “You love me, don’t you?” But when I reach for your cheek, I find the loose blown debris of a mild spring day tangled in my curls.
Drifting, spinning lazily, the seeds of the mighty oak descend to the ground. And I shake....
I shake myself back to the stone wall beneath me, as hard and stoic a seat as I could wish for. It will hold me up until you get here. I twist myself free of my idle daydreams, and focus on the tightness in my chest. Let there instead be a monument to love inside me that is a flowing river, a twinkling star in the heavens... a glow on the water’s edge at sunset. Then, I could dissolve into your embrace, caught up in wonder. So I would melt....
Into the palm of my hand, the ardent touch of another soul seeks entry. It is you. I smile. Such strength I feel between my own fingers, twined in yours for all time! I, too, can offer constancy and intensity to match your fire that burns so hot. Deep inside, the seat of my spirit dances around the flames, casting off sparks in the dark of the night.
Bright and true, I leap high, my heat matching yours... for your eyes, your arms, your breath, your hands...they are my fiery panacea. The rhythm of our heartbeats merge and I cannot feel the chill outside.
Let me not open my eyes. Let me not see the light. Let me lose myself in my fantasy... and melt into you.